Episode 260 opens with Parker, Fred, and Allan celebrating another milestone and immediately campaigning for help. The Black Lincoln Collective is once again nominated for a local podcast award, and after winning the previous two years, the guys are officially chasing the three-peat.

That means sizing up the competition.

The crew runs through several fellow nominees, including a church podcast, an old nemesis, real estate shows, a Reverend David Tipton, and a podcast hosted by an investor-attorney-Brazilian-jiu-jitsu black belt and a bodybuilder/music artist. That last combination is enough to make Parker briefly reconsider the usual “talk shit about the competitors” strategy.

The general campaign message is simple: vote BLC, ignore everyone else, and maybe don’t antagonize the jiu-jitsu guy.

Fred then brings some genuinely good news: after previously missing out because tickets sold out too quickly, his upgraded internet connection finally pays off and he lands tickets to see Dave Chappelle in Charlotte. The guys talk ticket prices, making a full day of the trip, potentially golfing, staying overnight, possibly hitting a casino, and Fred’s history of seeing Chappelle before and after Chappelle’s Show became a phenomenon.

Parker follows that with his own personal update: he is officially back in the gym.

The real selling point isn’t fitness. It’s childcare.

Parker discovers a gym where his kids can hang out in a surprisingly elaborate children’s area with game consoles, a theater, a play structure, basketball, and staff supervision while he exercises. What begins as a fitness plan quickly sounds more like Parker has discovered affordable short-term childcare with complimentary weight machines.

He explains that he is trying to repair his knee, back, hip, and essentially every other part of his body that has started making noises. That means using machines he associates more with glute and hip work, including abductors and glute kickbacks.

Naturally, he decides the correct solution is to add increasingly dramatic grunts, poses, and “look back at it” energy to every rep.

The conversation shifts into gym memberships and how notoriously difficult some companies make cancellation. That becomes a broader discussion of contracts, legal jargon, companies burying unfavorable terms in the fine print, and the idea that a company can do nearly anything as long as somewhere in the agreement it effectively says:

“Lube is not included.”

Which evolves into the legal phrase nobody learned in law school:

Lubricus Not Includicas.

The gym discussion continues with Parker becoming irritated by someone occupying a machine without actually doing any reps while waiting for a friend to teach her how to use it. He and another gym member silently bond over their mutual frustration before both eventually abandon the exercise.

After the break, the show revisits last week’s most important guest.

The Business Manatee is alive.

Charles Mangrove III returns to publicly address the dramatic ending of Episode 259. He says the North Florida-South Georgia fish markets had tanked, he lost a great deal of money, and his previous behavior came during an extremely low point.

The show briefly makes an explicit point that suicide is not a joke and that people experiencing suicidal thoughts should seek help. Charles says he did exactly that, got help, spent time recovering, and is now doing much better.

Even better, the fish markets have bounced back.

Charles has apparently made all his money back and claims he “pulled himself up by his flipper straps,” immediately creating another potential episode title.

That launches an on-air debate between “Flipper Straps” and “Lubricus Not Includicas.” Business Manatee solves the problem using timeless business strategy: throw everything against the wall and see what sticks.

Charles then offers a fresh investment idea: GameStop. His reasoning involves executive stock purchases, “moon tickets,” and the kind of financial confidence that makes Parker question whether the Business Manatee learned anything from last week.

Before leaving, Parker asks Charles for help with another economic crisis: expensive organic half-and-half creamer repeatedly spoiling weeks before its printed expiration date. Business Manatee admits dairy is outside his North Florida-South Georgia fish-market expertise and provides almost no useful answer.

After Charles leaves, the show pivots into health news.

Parker brings up reports about drug-resistant Shigella, which the episode describes as an increasingly difficult-to-treat bacterial infection spreading in part through sexual contact, particularly among men who have sex with men.

That sets off exactly the kind of discussion BLC listeners would expect.

The guys try to understand fecal-oral transmission, why Shigella historically spread in daycares, how sexual behavior can transmit it, and which parts of the human body should remain strictly exit-only.

The explanation then transforms into a full airlock analogy involving astronauts, facilities, alien invasions, dinosaurs, inner chambers, outer chambers, and whether a person can technically be “inside” without being inside.

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