Black Lincoln Collective Podcast

• 00:00:57 — “Now Featuring Words”: Parker welcomes everyone to the “250th episode” and announces that the show now features words, which feels like an ambitious rebrand.
• 00:01:16 — All Fingers and Toes: The crew says they are broadcasting with all their fingers and toes, which becomes accidentally relevant later when the episode turns into death talk.
• 00:02:20 — Antonio Ben Fred: Fred starts doing an accent, Parker asks him to get closer to the mic, and the whole show briefly becomes a bootleg international lounge act.
• 00:03:05 — Spain Is Mexico’s Canada: The geography lesson nobody requested arrives early and confidently.
• 00:04:48 — Hayden Panettiere Name Disaster: The crew tries several versions of Hayden Panettiere’s name and lands somewhere between Italian restaurant and medical condition.
• 00:07:02 — Death Investigation for Pizza: The guys realize a nearby location has a pizza place, and Fred immediately sounds more interested in lunch than detective work.
• 00:07:08 — Crab Rangoon Pizza: The idea of crab rangoon pizza nearly derails the celebrity death segment, because BLC can mourn and menu-plan at the same time.
• 00:11:23 — RIP Dolly: The crew switches into sincere mode for Dolly Parton, which is rare enough to be its own special effect.
• 00:13:14 — Dolly Parton Day: The guys decide 9/25 should become Dolly Parton Day because of “9 to 5,” then start moving other national holidays out of her way.
• 00:15:19 — Make Room for Dolly: National Comic Book Day, Lobster Day, Quesadilla Day, and One Hit Wonder Day all get pushed aside because Dolly gets priority.
• 00:16:36 — BLC Hall of Fame: Dolly gets officially inducted and becomes the first BLC Hall of Famer with her own show holiday.
• 00:16:48 — Dolly’s Letterman Clip: The crew remembers Dolly telling David Letterman that people talk about one part of her body, but she has “a great ass too.”
• 00:21:59 — Tim Curry Left This Mortal World: Tim Curry becomes the third icon in the episode’s death-trifecta conversation, kicking off a massive filmography riff.
• 00:23:21 — Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties: The Tim Curry credits get increasingly strange, proving the man really was in everything.
• 00:24:28 — In Memoriam Before the Year Ends: The crew decides August is close enough to do an in-memoriam segment.
• 00:32:06 — Food News Begins: After a death-heavy first half, the crew pivots into Food News, because nothing heals grief like crackers and bad decisions.
• 00:32:56 — Fred Tries Matzo: Fred opens the matzo, smells cardboard, takes a bite, and immediately realizes the bit has betrayed him.
• 00:33:09 — “A Piece of Tile”: The matzo is described as backsplash, cracker, cardboard, and something large enough to hide behind.
• 00:34:11 — The Talking Matzo: Parker suggests Fred use the matzo as a face prop and become “the talking matzo,” which is probably a better character than planned.
• 00:36:44 — Matzo ASMR: Fred cracks the matzo near the mic while the crew treats it like high-end audio content for people with very specific problems.
• 00:37:04 — Fred Wants to Eat It but Hates It: The guys observe Fred repeatedly bringing the matzo close to his mouth, then pulling it away like it personally hurt him.
• 00:38:46 — Pro-Jelly, Anti-Jam: BLC takes its boldest food stance yet: “pro jelly, fuck your jam.”
• 00:41:17 — Coca-Cola vs. Jesus: The crew discusses the outrage over Coca-Cola allegedly blocking “I love Jesus” on custom bottles while rumors claimed Satan phrases got through.
• 00:43:35 — “I Love His Shoes”: Parker offers the perfect workaround for blocked Jesus Coke: just write “I love his shoes.”
• 00:46:31 — Questionable Meat: Imported meat, mystery sourcing, screw worm panic, and fast food distrust enter the chat.
• 00:48:24 — Screw Worm Joins the Show: The screw worm gets a voice and starts talking about meat, which is exactly as gross as it sounds.
• 00:55:05 — First-of-Its-Kind Bacon: Everything bagel-seasoned thick-cut bacon arrives, and Fred immediately starts questioning why anyone would mess with bacon.
• 00:57:39 — Stop Messing With Bacon: The guys reach food-news consensus: bacon is already great. Leave it alone.
• 01:00:16 — Upside Betrayal: Parker explains why the Upside app lost him forever after one denied submission.
• 01:01:23 — QT Hot Dog Trap: Fred remembers missing the $2.50 hot dog deal by one day and suddenly paying eight dollars for two gas station hot dogs.
• 01:03:15 — Thanks for Glistening: The episode ends with “thanks for glistening,” which is either a typo, a lifestyle, or the next BLC merch line.

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