Black Lincoln Collective Podcast

In “Debone My Toilet” | Episode 247 of The Black Lincoln Collective Comedy Podcast, the crew opens inside what can only be described as a “buffet of meat,” then immediately derails into questionable freestyle rapping, attachable accessories, fake swagger, and Parker trying very hard to be the least white version of himself. Fred is introduced as “the modern age Noah, the show-er, the holy roll-er,” which is somehow both accurate and deeply unnecessary.

After some Harry Mack talk and the realization that freestyle rap is much harder when you are not Harry Mack, Fred brings the episode’s main disaster: his son’s toilet has been clogged for days. Like any responsible, budget-conscious dad, Fred starts with plunging. Then he buys a snake. Then he accepts the nightmare truth: the toilet has to come off.

This is not Fred’s first toilet excavation. The last time, he discovered someone had flushed the spring-loaded toilet paper roll holder. This time, Parker and Allan guess deodorant, toothbrushes, Legos, and basically every object except the actual answer: two rib bones. Yes, rib bones. Fred’s son was apparently eating ribs on the toilet and flushed the evidence, creating the most disgusting barbecue crime scene in podcast history.

The guys then dissect the mechanics of toilet removal, wax rings, snapped bolts, Home Depot loyalty, Lowe’s discounts, and the proper 3-2-1 method for smoked ribs. The bigger question remains: why was anyone eating ribs on the toilet? Was it secrecy? Efficiency? A meat-based bathroom ritual? No one knows, but Fred’s mother-in-law wins the segment by texting that the bones “must have hurt coming out.”

The back half pivots into death etiquette and the problem with saying “RIP” for people you do not particularly like. The crew brainstorms alternatives like “Rest in Pizza,” “Rest in Hell,” and other acronyms that should probably stay off memorial posts. They also joke through political death reactions, then shift into appreciating Sam Neill, Jurassic Park, New Zealand, Australia, Kiwis, Aussies, and whether certain countries count as “white people.”

It’s toilet repair, ribs, death, dinosaurs, and international confusion. Somehow, that is one episode.

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